my wife and I have 2 young kids. She is home with the kids most of the day. Sex is non existent. She says I never initiate it but neither does she. I need advice from women. She is semi affectionate but not sexual.
I need my wife to be my wife again and not just a mother to our children. I appreciate, (and I tell her this) her taking care of our children but I am not old enough (39) to never have sex again. Before we had kids, we used to have a great sex life, variety, intensity etc. now sex doesnt exist.
My wife is a hot momma. She doesnt act it anymore. she never wears lingerie or sexy clothes. Now its jeans, sweatpants and clothes that cover her up. She gets angry when I suggest it and says she is not 18 anymore but "blaa" isnt doing it for me. She would be very hot lingerie, skirts or even dresses, she just wont do it. We have shopped for clothes and we have talked and she always says she will but never does.
I am on the verge of going outside the marriage for attention. help.
Thanks for all your answers. I have tried to pamper her, I give her breaks all the time, let her go out for girls night, take the kids for several hours. I do help around the house. I guess I can try date night.
The problem is I believe her attitude.. I dont mean that in a sarcastic way, she doesnt have the "I want to look sexy" attitude anymore. I see women every day who wear clothing that I know they said " I look pretty good in this" and they do. My wife just doesnt have this or doesnt care. I think she would look great in skirts and dresses, she scorns me when I suggest it. Lingerie, when I ask, she says she has stuff….but then she never wears it. I think she would look very hot in lingerie.. I just cant get her to want to wear it. I know she would be very surprised and thankful at my response. I am not 14 anymore when the mere sight of a woman use to excite me. I need her to be more feminine and sexy to get me going too.
one last thing. A while ago we talked about it and she said she would dress more sexy if I dressed differently. I did for several times, and she did not reciprocate, so I stopped. I am not asking her to dress up in a hannah montana wig, just sexy (not hookerish, but not prudish) skirts dresses and lingerie.. Why is this wrong??? I love her, its a visual thing, I find it very attractive when women dress sexy and wear lingerie. I am not asking anything perverted…just feminine and sexy….. I would prefer to stay in the marriage, even though there is a woman who is very sexy who wants to be with me, its driving me crazy.
I know women need things in a marriage..but what about us guys?? we need attention too… her looking feminine and sexy would tell me she is still interested in me and interested in sex and our relationship. I feel like I am getting nothing. What do I do when my wife is reluctant to show me this???????????? How do I save my sanity and marriage?
Liz, before you become an accusatory, angry woman, try asking me those questions first. I have tried all of those things.
