i’m a 17 year old straight boy who has had sex with 2 women in my lifetime both within the past 6 months i have been attracted to the past two years (1 in a relationship) but for the past year i have frequently masturbated to gay porn. i have never found men attractive, always and will be attracted to women. the porn just looks more pleasuring to a man which is where i have got my kicks on. i have always been curious to try it, but resisted. although the other night i was driving back from giving some friends a lift, and i pulled into a well known gay dogging site. it wasn’t long before a man approached me, got talking for a minute and told me he loves sucking cock. i asked him if he wanted to suck mine, he went around the other side of my car, i pulled my sweatpants down, and he sucked. i found this very pleasurable, as it was so much better than my ex girlfriend. i brought this into my car, at this point i was rock hard. the fact his penis was really massive turned me on, but when i tried sucking it, i didn’t really enjoy it. because of the lust i was in, i asked him if he wanted to fuck me. he pushed it in, and i found it so painful, hence not enjoyable, so he pulled out, now i feel dirty. he tried to kiss me throughout what was going on, but i moved away, as that just seemed too gay and not what i was seeking pleasure in. so i let him finish giving me this amazing head, and came in his mouth, and finished him off with a handjob. this was just a fantasy for me, and although i regret in the fact it’s gonna be secret to everyone, as everyone would take it the wrong way and think i’m gay, i actually found part of it quite pleasurable.